She sits in the front row pew. She sits pristine, nails polished and hair highlighted.
I think its so she doesnt have to look at anyone else. I think its so she doesnt have to see people look at her.
She stares into space, occasionally rolling her eyes and the shame that seeps through her pores project her past as fattened regret - growing heavy with the stress of each patterend day.
And Im tired of feeling pity. And Im tired of justifying.
Im tired of wondering if she is the mold for which destiny has made me the clay.
Thursday, May 29, 2008
Tuesday, May 20, 2008
9:15
9:15
A time. A place. A prescription.
The hours between almost let you forget.
9:15
A definition. A description. A precaution.
The answer to a question without a decision.
9:15
A blessing. A curse. A solution.
The stigmatized facilitator to a haunting hindrance.
9:15
A time. A place. A prescription.
The hours between almost let you forget.
9:15
A definition. A description. A precaution.
The answer to a question without a decision.
9:15
A blessing. A curse. A solution.
The stigmatized facilitator to a haunting hindrance.
9:15
Thursday, May 15, 2008
Dinner Party
I’m not really that great at inviting people over. I usually like it when there is a group of people relaxing and enjoying each other’s company but I suck at remembering to ask the people to come in the first place. This fact aside, the Parental Units were leaving town so my Mini-Me brother and I decided to have a mildly entertaining dinner party. After we failed at getting our older sibling to attend (and by attend, we meant cook) I knew it was up to me to financially and humorously fund this feast.
Why?
Because Mini-Me had invited his two best-friends (T-Bone who resembles Achilles the Brad Pitt version and Sunshine the California Golden Boy) and his current infatuation (the younger sister of my ex-classmate who was a perfect eccentric queen) which meant he was gonna try to impress her by lame conversation and over-seasoned cooking.
Damn it.
To even out this hormonal company I invited a family friend who was home from the Army and even though he is our sister’s ex-boyfriend Mini-Me and I still enjoy laughing at his good natured Mexican expense.
First stop, the grocery store with Mini-Me and the girl. I know that I should give her a chance to out-cool her eccentric queen sibling so I excuse her high heels on an average high school day as simple fashion in a player hatin’ world.
Sidenote: I like people based on two criteria. The first being that they laugh at my wit and the second being that they answer my questions intelligently.
She laughed at the way I carried the green bean cans. And then suggested we get salad. While I stood there trying to decide how she had usurped my two criteria, Mini-Me collected the remaining food parcels and we retreated to the house.
Mini-Me was cooking up a storm and so I attempted to engage High Heels in some conversation. Her I.Q. seeped through her multiple-syllable vocabulary as she referred to her surgeon father and the family’s culminating efforts to serve his non-profit save the planet and its people organization. Seeing how exasperated I was after finding the salad bowl, not to mention comparing myself to Miss Fashion Captain Planet, I went into the other room to watch tv.
This is when the real dilemma entered the evening. Family Guy promised an episode devoted to Stewie (I greatly admire his cynicism) but thinking back to High Heels’ comment on her inability to watch tv due to her planet saving schedule, I was prompted to contemplate CNN so as to impress her with my current events interest (and by this I mean my Anderson Cooper interest). I settled on timed increments between the two, hoping her ignorance would think Family Guy was insightful parenting commercials.
T-Bone and Sunshine arrived on-time wearing sunglasses shading their illuminating egos. Mini-Me winked at where I was to sit, strategically chosen so his spot caused his elbows to poke High Heels throughout the meal.
I stare at the empty chair right when T-Bone says, “Who is the other plate for?”
Mini-Me reflects the question to me, “Hey yea, where is that poco soldier?”
Did I just get stood up by my little sister’s ex-boyfriend?
Damn it!
Sunshine expresses disbelief that Mini-Me cooked the entire meal when High Heels defended him by stating, “Brittany watched Family Guy for the three of us.”
Damn it!
My response, “I found the salad bowl.”
Why?
Because Mini-Me had invited his two best-friends (T-Bone who resembles Achilles the Brad Pitt version and Sunshine the California Golden Boy) and his current infatuation (the younger sister of my ex-classmate who was a perfect eccentric queen) which meant he was gonna try to impress her by lame conversation and over-seasoned cooking.
Damn it.
To even out this hormonal company I invited a family friend who was home from the Army and even though he is our sister’s ex-boyfriend Mini-Me and I still enjoy laughing at his good natured Mexican expense.
First stop, the grocery store with Mini-Me and the girl. I know that I should give her a chance to out-cool her eccentric queen sibling so I excuse her high heels on an average high school day as simple fashion in a player hatin’ world.
Sidenote: I like people based on two criteria. The first being that they laugh at my wit and the second being that they answer my questions intelligently.
She laughed at the way I carried the green bean cans. And then suggested we get salad. While I stood there trying to decide how she had usurped my two criteria, Mini-Me collected the remaining food parcels and we retreated to the house.
Mini-Me was cooking up a storm and so I attempted to engage High Heels in some conversation. Her I.Q. seeped through her multiple-syllable vocabulary as she referred to her surgeon father and the family’s culminating efforts to serve his non-profit save the planet and its people organization. Seeing how exasperated I was after finding the salad bowl, not to mention comparing myself to Miss Fashion Captain Planet, I went into the other room to watch tv.
This is when the real dilemma entered the evening. Family Guy promised an episode devoted to Stewie (I greatly admire his cynicism) but thinking back to High Heels’ comment on her inability to watch tv due to her planet saving schedule, I was prompted to contemplate CNN so as to impress her with my current events interest (and by this I mean my Anderson Cooper interest). I settled on timed increments between the two, hoping her ignorance would think Family Guy was insightful parenting commercials.
T-Bone and Sunshine arrived on-time wearing sunglasses shading their illuminating egos. Mini-Me winked at where I was to sit, strategically chosen so his spot caused his elbows to poke High Heels throughout the meal.
I stare at the empty chair right when T-Bone says, “Who is the other plate for?”
Mini-Me reflects the question to me, “Hey yea, where is that poco soldier?”
Did I just get stood up by my little sister’s ex-boyfriend?
Damn it!
Sunshine expresses disbelief that Mini-Me cooked the entire meal when High Heels defended him by stating, “Brittany watched Family Guy for the three of us.”
Damn it!
My response, “I found the salad bowl.”
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