Hi. Im the middle seat. And I will make you hate me. Im the one with the smallest bladder and the bad knees. The loud laugh and the disgusting table manners. Im fidgeting.
So go ahead and sit back, relax and enjoy the flight.
Hi. Im the introspective window seat. And I will make you jealous. My head blocks the whole brilliant view. I journal. I sigh.
Hi. Im the cocky aisle seat. I kick out my foot and I point out my elbow. Im relaxed because Im in control. Do not pass go.
Hi. Im the dumbass interior decorator of airplanes. I created a hierarchy within a confined space. The pilot may dictate your destination but my organization will dictate your mood. I got this job based on how many lego men I could fit in Barbie's playhouse.
We should wear stopwatches around our necks telling how long it has been since we left home. The person with the most time can choose their seat.
Because maybe today Im fidgeting.
Or maybe Im reflective. Or hell, I may even be cocky. People would cheat their stopwatches though. People would say...What does home really mean? My old man kicked me out when I was 16 and Ive been on the move since...
Hi. Im more special than you. I travel. I have those fancy neck roll pillows. Sure I look like a dandelion but I can sleep. I have the flight safety instructions memorized. I know the names of the airports not cities. Time zones dont apply to me. Im worldly.
Hi. Im the sweaty overweight mother with a crying baby. Its white noise to me so only all of you will suffer. You'd yell at me but my baby has the cutest little smile and when you stare in my desperate eyes you know my soul has already been sucked out to an island oasis living my other life.
Hi. Im the foreigner. I lean back my chair. I take dumps in the one tiny bathroom and its cool because you cant understand me and I cant understand you.
Hi. Im the sassy flight attendant. I dont breathe oxygen. I have perfect teeth and excellent hearing. I got this job because Ive always loved cheerleading and waitressing.
Hi. Im the pilot and I'll be your captain. Everyone knows computers really run this show. I got this job because I look good in a uniform and my voice sounds as reassuring as an ambulance siren to a victim.
So go ahead and sit back, relax and enjoy the flight.
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1 comment:
So sounds like you had nice flights (plural) back home to Africa. As Jake would say "I'm missin you." But enjoyed every second with you. Happy about your great job. Happy/grateful about who you are as a person. Would love to have you sittin with your guitar in the cabin in Paradise, but that will have to wait. There's work to be done Fresh, go after it! I B Proud Daddy
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